Is It Possible To Get a Fair Property Settlement With a Narcissist?

property settlement with a narcissist | Melbourne Family Lawyers

Yes, getting a fair property settlement with a narcissist in Australia is possible. Dealing with a narcissist in a property settlement and divorce can be challenging, but not impossible.

The Family Law Act ensures a fair distribution of property, regardless of individual personalities.

Engaging a skilled family lawyer who understands how to navigate the complexities of dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner can be vital.

They can employ legal strategies and even prepare for court if necessary. While the process may be more complex and emotionally taxing, the legal system in Australia is designed to be just and equitable.

With the right legal support, a fair property settlement is achievable.

What Are the Traits of a Narcissistic Spouse?

A narcissist often exhibits characteristics such as a lack of empathy, a strong need for admiration, and a tendency to manipulate others. This can make reaching an amicable settlement difficult.

Here are the traits of a narcissistic spouse:

  • Wants to control you and any situation
  • Needs to be right
  • Always wants to be seen as the good guy
  • Is quick to criticise when you don’t meet expectations
  • Lacks the ability to feel remorse
  • Pretends to be loving or caring – but is actually manipulating
  • Is emotionally distant
  • Believes it’s always someone else’s fault
  • Is unforgiving and resentful
  • Is not interested in compromising- it is their way or the highway!

Trying to achieve a Family Law Property settlement is difficult at the best of times- even when dealing with well-adjusted people, as marriage breakdown is very stressful.

If you are dealing with a bully, then many spouses simply give up the fight to get out of the relationship and get some peace.

Whilst this reaction is understandable, as the stress may have been ongoing for years, it may end up with you receiving far less than your entitlement to in a financial settlement.

How To Deal With Property Settlement With a Narcissist

It requires careful planning, professional support, and emotional resilience. You can go through this complex process by considering the steps below. Always consult with legal and mental health professionals who understand your unique situation for personalised guidance.

1. Understand the Narcissist’s Behaviour

Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder and its common associated behaviours.

Recognise Manipulation Tactics: Be aware of tactics like gaslighting, projection, and smear campaigns.

2. Seek Professional Help

Hire an Experienced Lawyer: Find a lawyer with experience dealing with narcissists.

Consider a Therapist: Emotional support from a mental health professional can be invaluable.

3. Gather Evidence

Document Everything: Keep records of all communications and interactions.

Collect Financial Information: Gather all relevant financial documents.

4. Set Boundaries

Limit Communication: Communicate through your lawyer when possible.

Avoid Emotional Engagement: Stay calm and professional; don’t let the narcissist’s behaviour affect you emotionally.

5. Develop a Strategy

Work with Your Lawyer: Develop a legal strategy considering the narcissist’s likely behaviours.

Consider Mediation: Though it’s challenging to accomplish with a narcissist, professional mediation might be an option.

6. Protect Yourself and Your Assets

Secure Your Assets: Take steps to protect your financial interests.

Consider a Safety Plan: If you feel threatened, develop a safety plan with the help of professionals.

7. Negotiate with Caution

Expect Challenges: Be prepared for the narcissist to be uncooperative and manipulative.

Stay Firm but Flexible: Know what you want but be prepared to negotiate within reason.

8. Prepare for Court (if Necessary)

Build a Strong Case: Work with your lawyer to prepare a solid case if negotiations fail.

Stay Focused: Keep your emotions in check and focus on the facts.

9. After the Settlement

Follow Through: Ensure all agreements are carried out as stipulated.

Seek Support: Continue to seek emotional support from friends, family, or professionals.

Rebuild and Move On: Focus on rebuilding your life and moving forward.

Coping with the Emotional Strain

Coping with the emotional strain of dealing with a narcissist in a property settlement can be intense.

Narcissists often employ manipulative tactics that can lead to confusion and emotional turmoil.

Seeking professional support, such as a therapist specialising in narcissistic behaviour, becomes vital.

They can provide validation, coping strategies, and emotional stability, helping you navigate the situation’s complexities.

This support safeguards against the psychological wear and tear that a narcissist can inflict, enabling a more balanced approach to the legal process.

We Can Assist You Too: Property Settlement With a Narcissist

When Mrs. Johnson first approached our law firm, she was visibly distressed about divorcing her narcissistic husband and the impending property settlement.

Her husband’s manipulative and controlling behaviour affected her emotional well-being.

We began by carefully listening to Mrs. Johnson’s concerns, understanding the specific behaviours exhibited by her husband, and assessing the complexity of the property settlement.

We assigned a family lawyer experienced in dealing with narcissistic personalities to her case.

The lawyer’s expertise was crucial in navigating the unique challenges posed by her husband’s behaviour.

We meticulously collected all relevant financial documents and communication records, anticipating potential manipulative tactics from her husband.

Recognising the emotional strain on Mrs. Johnson, we recommended professional therapy and set clear boundaries for communication with her husband, limiting interactions to legal channels.

We crafted a legal strategy tailored to her situation, considering mediation and preparing for court if necessary.

We reached a fair settlement through careful negotiation, despite her husband’s attempts to obstruct the process. Our firm but flexible approach was critical to this success.

Seek Professional Guidance

Property settlement with a narcissist requires understanding the legal framework and the unique challenges this personality type poses.

By taking a structured approach and seeking professional guidance, you can navigate this complex process more confidently and successfully.

If you’re in a situation involving property settlement with a narcissist, consider consulting with a family lawyer who can provide tailored advice for your circumstances.


Director of Melbourne Family Lawyers, Hayder manages the practice and oversees the running of all of the files in the practice. Hayder has an astute eye for case strategy and running particularly complex matters in the family law system.

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